What a coherent and well put together pitch! Impressive!
Awesome pitch! It was conversational, you were confident, and your personality shined through. Good luck!
I like this. Good job! :)
Hi Katrina,You have an awesome voice—very clear and you narrate your premise perfectly. Are you sure you're not a voice actress???? Anyways, it sounds like you've got a great premise, and I love that each of the witches in the group has a totally different personality and goals that may clash with your MCs... and the "modern-day inquisition", haha. Great job!John Krissilas, #40http://www.johnkrissilas.com/
Sounds great!! You look very relaxed and your pitch was very conversational!! Great job!! :) Book sounds great too! :) I'm not usually into paranormal too much, but this does sound more like something I'd like!!
You speak with such ease! I love witches, and this sounds so interesting. Also, "supernatural dating service" -- sounds awesome. You have a wonderful sense of humor :)
Witches!! YAY!. Sounds very, very, intriguing and FUN. I must read this. You made this very easy to understand. Good work, and good luck!!
Sounds fun. You speak very well on camera.#5
Very confident, smooth delivery. The idea sounds really interesting. Good luck! #29
Talk about poise! You really know your material and delivered it with ease- get yourself to some conferences and pitch live if you haven't done that yet. Maybe it won't be necessary, though, because this sounded pretty intriguing. Lots of fun elements. Good luck with it! Amy
You sounded very conversational and the plot was definitely intriguing. So much going on there! You make delivering a pitch look easy, and I know as well as you that it's not! #26
I'll echo the poise comment! Pitch was delivered beautifully and the plot is very interesting-I'm hooked! I love the ideea of a supernatural dating service. :-) Good luck!
Seriously, I would buy this book right now if it was out. "putting spell books on their kindles" - Excellent line. #32
Supernatural dating service! Sounds like fun! Good luck, and really nice video. :D
What a fun concept! Good luck :)
I love the "putting their spell book on their kindles" and the dating-for-witches angles.
I'm sorry you didn't make it into the agent round. You did a wonderful job, and I was so close to picking this. You really nailed the pitching part. I think for me, it was the genre that paused me. Many agents are shying away from Paranormal Romances. If this was a young adult, I'd be pimping it to someone I know who'd love it. Keep pitching and get ready for Trick or Treat with an agent starting Oct. 24.
Spellbooks on their kindles! I love it!!You did great! Nice to meet you! :D
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I woke up and was still thinking about your pitch. I'm at war with myself and I wish I had one more spot. I didn't get a real sense of the stakes, though. Some of the things in the pitch sounds younger to me. How old are your characters, btw? Could this fall into NA? Okay, just wanted to add to my comments.
Thanks for checking back, it means a lot. I'll admit, I was a bit crushed that I didn't make it. I spent a lot of time working on the pitch. My husband and cats were barred from entering the bedroom all of Saturday while I worked, hehe.It is a NA book, but I keep selling it as an adult paranormal as NA doesn't seem to be a confirmed genre for representation yet. There was a twitter war only a week or so ago with a couple agents chiming in on what they thought, and it scared me off the genre.My protagonist acts young, like she's in her twenties. She's a punk rocker. Her hair is dyed six different colors, she always has a guitar in hand, and she has an impulse control problem I would equate with someone younger. And I believe the voice would be a good fit for people my age--mid to late twenties.As for the stakes: Ally wants to go to war, but the rest of the coven and the boy-toy aren't so thrilled with the idea. She leaves them, goes hunting, and gets her butt immediately captured. Rescues and attitude adjustments ensue.If I may make a suggestion...it seems like there were only 9 other videos that didn't get picked. Do you think you guys could fit 13 videos on each of your blogs instead of 10? ; )
Thanks to everyone for their feedback. It means a lot! Good luck to those who made it to the next round! <3Now maybe I should actually do something with this blog...
Hee hee, I like how you cut the image. It's visually intriguing. You've got some awesome lines in here--"the way to her heart is through her ears," "the kind of guy who knows it..." I like the kind of decision she has to make--her beliefs versus her family.I guess I don't really like the whole "witch" thing, though, without an explanation. What is a witch, anyway? What do they do? Is this a scientific/genetic thing, or is this a religious thing? Are we talking Satanists, or are we talking like benders from Avatar: the Last Airbender, or is this like a Wiccan religious minority? Along those lines, what's the motivation for the bad guys? The term "inquisition" has almost lost its historical meaning under today's tirades of name-calling--it's like the Spanish Inquisitors aren't even really human to anyone anymore, even though in reality the most evil criminals had hearts like the rest of us. Do your bad guys have hearts, or is this just another stereotype of intolerant religious folks? That's info I'd personally kind of like to have, but I guess it's unnecessary backstory for a pitch. Just something to think about.
Thanks for the feedback!The witches are just your run-of-the-mill-fire-out-of-the-fingertips witches living together in a coven/house. The protagonist is the bodyguard. The leader is an oracle/psychic. One of the women uses the magic for her art and paintings (which is code for drawing cute decals on her manicures). One of the women sucks at magic and usually does the chores around the house. And the last one has a holy type of magic, but she's constantly stalked by demons. Unfortunately, no bending. But it would be really fun to add in a Momo. ; )And the Inquisition are trying to figure out the questions you asked. They're actually medical researchers studying the effects of magic on a body--they just happen to kill the witch in order to study her. My protagonist is impulsive enough to her her ass captured, and she becomes their first living experiment in hundred of years.Anyway, congrats on making it to the next round! I loved your concept. In college I wrote a short story about a fantasy heroine who realizes she's inside of a book. It was so fun/mind bendy. I'd love to see what you've done with your book. If you ever need a beta reader/critique partner just let me know!
Oh man, I think I'd be up for a beta-read. You can contact me at "myscreenname" at gmail dot com, if you like. Not literally "myscreenname"--use my actual screen name that's on this post, no spaces or fancy things. = PAlso, yay for medical research curiosity gone bad...definitely at least a more plausible motivation than "grrr we just hate because we're evil and can't help it." I love the title of your blog, by the way.
"Putting their spellbook on their Kindles"- I fell in love with your pitch at that line. This sounds like something I'd definitely pick up in the bookstore (maybe for my nook?) <3
Thank you!!And no e-reader bias intended. ; )